Local Cats Shocked to Learn There Aren’t Live Salmon on Salmon Street

Mugsy (indoor cat), Pesa, and Edward Tabbey ponder Salmon Street.

“I just figured that if I was fully dedicated to the window, I’d see them one day,” admitted Mugsy, one of several cats that recently learned that Salmon Street is named in reverence to salmon, not because it has an abundance of them. Salmon are legendary creatures once known intimately by our kind, but now only known via The Can. We also spoke with Pesa (renown butter thief) and Edward Tabbey from Salmon: “Might as well rename Main Street to Tuna, and Madison to Crab,” said Pesa. When we explained that several of our streets (including Taylor) are named for United States presidents, Edward Tabbey responded, “What the hell is a united states? And what’s a president? That shid doesn’t have any power over me and my block! I’d like them to come here and try to tell me what I can and cannot call the street that I bury my business on.” Wow! We love cats that don’t recognize positions of power!